Once upon a time, boy meets girl and they become friends. Somehow along the way, their relationship evolve. So, they both decide to give it a shot. They go on a first date and realize that it might work. Turns out they are a perfect match. But the girl has this dream. She wants to see the world. Boy understands and lets her live her dreams. And that’s how we ended up in a long-distance relationship.
Truth be told, long distance relationship (LDR) sucks. Before being in one, I had this romanticized idea of the whole thing. Blame it on the fact that I’m a hopeless romantic. I thought it was so romantic to wait for another person. Doesn’t distance make the heart grow fonder? Okay, I might have indulged too much in “Dear John” and all those cheesy movies. My friends and family might have also contributed to my delusions. Since most of them have experienced one and it turned out just fine.
Last year, my big cousin got married to her long-term long distance boyfriend. I kept telling myself that if this worked for her, why wouldn’t it work for me? I guess that’s how I found the courage to leave my boyfriend in Mauritius and move across the world. I clung to this idea until the plane took off and I realized the full impact of my decision. And that’s when it hit me and I started crying next to that British guy.
Eight months later, we are still an item stronger than ever. Despite the eight hours (nine during winter) of time difference and physical distance. Somehow our relationship withstood the challenge. But it’s not without effort and some pain. And did I mention loneliness and a pinch of envy when you see couples? It is as if you are back to being single without actually being single. I have this urge to run every time I see a couple.
There are random moments when the distance really gets to me. I get so frustrated that when it is daytime for me, it is nighttime for him. These are the days when I literally feel the distance between us. Especially when I am going through some rough time and I wish I could hold and talk to my boyfriend. Consequently, I have become that irritating friend who always brings her boyfriend in every freaking conversation. I cannot help it, it seems that everything triggers memories of him.
Sometimes I feel like you cannot keep up with everything which is happening with him. He’s out there making new friends and having new adventures. I am happy to hear that he is carrying on with his life and having a great time. Yet, I cannot help but feel a pang of jealousy. Because other people are having quality time with them and I’m unable. I know that it is kind of selfish and irrational. But who said feelings are logical?
To counter the current situation, we try to make ourselves as present as possible in each other’s life. Still, there is some sort of disconnectedness – that we are not really there. We do what we can – inquire, listen and experience as much as possible. So, is it really worth it? I have come across so may skeptical people. “Does this really work?” They ask. To them, LDR is doomed and has no future. But let me tell you something: we do not just wait and miss each other like crazy.
I think we have both learned a few things about our own relationship. Namely, that we are committed to each other. See, despite the hardship and the distance, we cannot imagine life without each other. I think that by now we know where we stand and what we want out of this. The LDR has really put things into perspective. And we have learned how to be more creative in terms of demonstration of love. It’s him sending me that beautiful necklace that made him think of me or me sending him a letter that I think he would love. Suddenly, the little things matter the most. I know LDR is stressful and a bit high-maintenance but it works if you are truly committed and have something to look forward. How about you? Have you ever been in a LDR? What are your tips to make it work?